Ep #91: Freedom
Jul 05, 2023What do you wish you had more of? It’s probably not more conflict, more obligations, more expectations. So many moms I talk to and work with are craving FREEDOM. And in honor of the July 4th holiday, that’s what we’re talking about… a Freedom Mini-sode. If this is you, and you are ready to stop waiting on your ex to change, create your own freedom. Sign up today for a Clarity Call here.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
- Are you tired of wanting things to be different and just never seeing the actual change? For the month of August, Mikki is hosting a small group experience for those co-parenting moms who are ready to take a deep dive to create the energy, learn the skills and support herself so that she can shift into long-term change. To learn more check it out at www.mikkigardner.com/change/
- I invite you to my free, 30 minutes CCP class. Just go to www.mikkigardner.com/masterclass.
- If you want to get started creating your action plan now, download the free Aligned Action for Cultivating Self-Care here.
- Download Mikki's Creating Clarity in Your Co-Parenting worksheet here.
- You can download the Self-Love Worksheet to help you move through your feelings when you are hurting.
- Make sure you sign up for the 3 Myths of Co-Parenting so that you are on Mikki’s mailing list to receive co-parenting tips, emails of encouragement and to be in the know on all of the upcoming workshops, podcasts and ways to work with Mikki.
- Interested in exploring how coaching could be the next step for you? Sign up for a free, no strings attached Clarity Call here.
- Follow me on Instagram
Full Episode Transcript:
[music] Welcome to Co-Parenting with Confidence, a podcast for those courageous moms out there who wanna move past the conflict and frustration of divorce and show up as the mom they truly wanna be. My name is Mikki Gardner, I'm a certified life and conscious parenting coach, with my own personal dose of co-parenting experience. Throughout my co-parenting journey, I have learned to become confident in who I am as a woman and a mother, and I'm here to help you do the same, if you're ready to learn what it takes to become a great co-parent and an amazing example to your children, well, get ready and let's dive into today's episode. Welcome back to the podcast. Today is gonna be a little mini episode if you will, I am on vacation for the July fourth holiday in the US, and it's really a time that I take off every year and spend with my son and my family, and it's just our favorite, but it's got me really thinking about freedom this year, as we're celebrating this holiday, which is all about freedom for this country, I started to think about freedom as it relates to us in co-parenting, because so often, so much of what I hear from clients and from those of you that contact me from the podcast and on Instagram, and I just love connecting with you guys. What I hear about is really wanting freedom, we may not use that word, and I actually used that word yesterday with someone and she said, "Wow, that's a big word." It is a big word, and sometimes we feel like we can't be free because of all of the obligations, all of the logistics, all of the path that's sort of holding over us, but I wanted to talk about freedom today because freedom is a choice, and you get to believe and choose what you want. So before I go any further, I wanted to look at what is freedom, even me, freedom to me, it gets defined, when I Google that is the power or right to act, speak and think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. It is also defined as the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved. Here's the thing, so many times I know that we as co-parents feel imprisoned by the situation, by the other co-parent, by their rules, by all of it, and you get a choice. So often, right? My clients come to me and they feel like they have no choice, and that's what we really work on, is having the awareness and the ability to see the choices available to you so that you can make the choice you want and direct you into the life that you wanna have. So recently, I was on a call with a new client, and she described how she felt so imprisoned by the situation that was going on with the other co-parent, the things that she didn't know, she felt like there were things she didn't know, she's wondering for her child safety, what was going on over there. She didn't have any access, right? All of the things, and she just was imprisoned in the worry, the concern is my baby's safe, what can I do? And my heart goes out to her 'cause I know that feeling. At the same time, right when I start to help her as her coach, start to explore what's really going on, what is she imprisoned by, what things are holding her back? When we quickly found out that she was so much stuck in the imprisonment of her own worry, of her own thoughts, of her own beliefs, that she wasn't even asking questions, she wasn't trying to gain information, not because she didn't know to do that, but because she was afraid, right? She was afraid of what she might find out, she was afraid of speaking up. There were so many things going on, but the first thing was she knew she really wanted freedom, she wanted freedom from the prison of her thoughts that were keeping her so stuck and so sad and so helpless. And that's why I wanted to talk about this today, because freedom is a choice, and that choice starts with deciding to speak up. Listen, I'm not saying that you have to unload all of your thoughts and opinions on another person, but if you have questions, they are valid. Now, whether or not they answer them, we can't control that, but we absolutely are allowed to speak up your words, your thoughts, your feelings, they all matter, and part of choosing freedom is choosing to let them matter, choosing to at least speak them to yourself, speak them to the other person, but not getting imprisoned by the worry, not being imprisoned by the past, not be imprisoned by what you don't know, so instead, I wanna offer you that choosing your own freedom looks like stepping up, looks like asking question, looks like starting to gain more knowledge, more awareness, so that you are clear and clear on what's actually going on, so that you can start to make active change, at the end of the day, knowledge is power, always. When we're hiding and we're staying in the imprisonment of our own thinking, hiding just keeps us hidden. Speaking up, asking questions, getting curious, being open, that creates awareness, and when we have awareness, then we are able to take agency, agency is taking the choices available to you because there are always choices. No, you may not like all of them, but there are choices, right? And then when we know the choices in front of you, you can start to take that aligned action towards where you wanna go, that's empowerment, that's liberation, that's going in the direction that you want. Honest, this is what needs to happen for your own freedom and for you to teach your children how to be free, how to be free from their own thoughts, how to be free from other people's opinions and judgments, right? People's opinions and judgments and words only hurt us when we believe them. And so part of it is getting yourself unlocking yourself out of the prison of listening to other people, listening to their thoughts, listening to their judgment, and deciding, No, I am gonna be free from that and I am gonna choose my direction. So that's what I have for you today. I just wanted to give you a little pep talk, because if you are anything like this beautiful woman that I talk to the other day and so many of my clients, we can get lost, we can get imprisoned in those worry, thoughts and the things that we don't know and know what ifs. And listen, I get it, it's normal, it's normal to have all of those thoughts and feeling, what we don't wanna do is live there, we don't wanna set up camp in those situations, instead we want to let ourselves out of the prison and start to choose being intentional, being aware, stepping into the choices that we have available to us, taking action that is aligned with what you want, right? This is creating a life of freedom, and this is available to you today, I promise. I'm gonna go enjoy my time with my son and my family, I'm wishing all of you, no matter where you are in the world, a beautiful Independence Day, independence from the past, independence from whatever might be holding you back, and I wish freedom for you, freedom from the negativity, freedom from the heavy feelings, and freedom to choose what you want in life, and if you have questions and you need help with this, you know that I'm here, you can always jump on a call with me and I'm happy to talk with you, and all we'll do is get you a little clear in a little bit more of a game plan going forward, right? All we need often is the next step, what's the next step to get me in a direction that I wanna go, so if you need help with the next step, use the link in the show note and contact me, we'll have a clarity call in and we'll get you going. Until next time friend, have an amazing day and take really, really good care of you. Oh, and one more thing. The legal stuff, this podcast is solely intended for informational and educational purposes only, it is not intended to be a substitute for any medical advice, please consult your physician or a qualified medical professional for personalized medical advice. Thanks for listening to Co-Parenting with Confidence. If you want more information or resources from this podcast, visit coparentingwithconfidence.com. I'll see you next week.