Ep #111: A Note of Gratitude

[music] Welcome to Co-Parenting with Confidence, a podcast for those courageous moms out there who wanna move past the conflict and frustration of doors and show up as the mom they truly wanna be. My name is Mikki Gardner, I'm a certified life and conscious parenting coach with my own personal dose of co-parenting experience. Throughout my co-parenting journey, I have learned to become confident in who I am as a woman and a mother, and I'm here to help you do the same. If you're ready to learn what it takes to become a great co-parent and an amazing example to your children, well get ready and let's dive into today's episode. Today is a little minisode in the honor of the Thanksgiving holiday in the US. I really wanted to just take a moment to really express my gratitude to you, to express my gratitude that you're here and that you listen, that I am grateful for you being the amazing mom and parent and co-parent that you are. And how do I know that you're amazing, because you're here, because you're listening, because you're learning, because you're trying new things, because you're committed to trying to be a better version of yourself for your children and for the world, and I am grateful to you. It's not easy work, and it's frankly a lot easier to just be unconscious and just react to everything around you, it's not fun, but it's easier. But you're not that person, and you're here and you're doing the work, and you're trying and you're learning, and I am grateful to you for doing that. You know, gratitude is one of those things that we hear a lot about and we're like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you need to be more grateful." And I've talked about it here on the podcast, but it is true, it is scientifically proven that gratitude can shift your mindset, your emotional state and your experience of your world profoundly. And why is that? Well, because the more grateful you are, the more things you have to be grateful for. And gratitude is like learning how to build a muscle that helps you see the good. The fact is, is that we always find what we're looking for, and so if we're looking for what's wrong, what's broken, what's missing, we're always gonna find it. And listen, I'm not saying that everything's perfect and that we should just toxic positivity are weight of things. No, but part of being honest and living an intentional life of not people pleasing, of becoming more and more conscious, becoming a co-parent who is really grounded and present. Well, part of this is learning how to be grateful and learning how to look for the good. And not just the good, but look for the solutions, right. To not be problem-oriented, but solution-oriented and building your muscle of gratitude is one of the best ways you can do this. It's almost like a savings account, we have to keep depositing into it all of the time so that we can make withdrawals. We have to be putting in and building the gratitude now so that we have more to be grateful for, and when we have more to be grateful for, the times that are hard, the struggles that come up, the conflict that we can't avoid, we can navigate it easier, because we have this gratitude muscle that we've built this account that we can pull from. One of the things that I've noticed lately is that I am so grateful to myself for really putting myself first, my care. And why does this matter? Well, because I am a better version of myself when I'm healthy, when I'm taking care of myself, when I'm rested. And when I am those things, I can show up better for my son, I can show up better for the relationships in my life, and I am just a happier person. When I'm depleted and I'm always looking at what's wrong, I suffer from that. One of the first things that I learned is really building this muscle of gratitude, and again, lately I've just been really, really grateful for myself, and I wanted to say that today because, not from a place of ego, but what are you grateful for in your life? What are you grateful for that you have done for yourself. That you're like, "Wow, I'm so glad I did that for me." Even if it's just getting a good night sleep or having a healthy meal, or taking time in advance to organize things so that you're less stressed when your kids come home the next time. Right? Building up gratitude for yourself, really making those deposits in the account of making sure that you're showing up and taking care of yourself will create more gratitude for yourself, and the more gratitude for yourself that you have, the more you wanna do it. Right, it's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. But one of the things that I've noticed lately is how grateful I am to myself when I put on my calendar that I'm gonna do something, whether it's yoga or a walk or therapy or whatever it is, and then I actually do that thing at that time. It builds such gratitude for me, and this is really just such an important thing that I wanted to sort of mention today because in the season of gratitude and in the season of holidays, I know as co-parents, holidays can be so difficult. There's more interaction with your ex potentially, there's having holidays on your own, and it can be really, really difficult, and so I want you to also focus on how can you find ways to be grateful for you. How can you find ways to be grateful for what you do have, the time that you do have, and really start to step into those more and more and more. When my clients start with me, they get a beautiful little gift at the beginning of our journey, and one of the things I put in there is my favorite five-minute journal. I have spent years starting and ending my day with the five-minute journal, and. All it is, is a page per day where you put what you are most grateful for in the morning, you really focus your mind and set your attention to begin your day with gratitude, and you close your day that way as well. That is how we build the muscle of gratitude, is we put our attention and our focus on it, we make it a priority, we become more and more aware of the ways that we are grateful and start to build on that. And so I really encourage you to do that. You don't have to have a fancy five-minute journal like I have, and I give my clients, you can have just a piece of paper or post it note by your bed, where you wake up in the morning and you just start, what am I grateful for? And you end your day in that same way. It's profound, when we stop and we are intentional about what we're choosing to put our mind and our attention on. Again, where our attention goes, our energy flows, so we really wanna be mindful of this, we wanna be intentional about this, and I think gratitude this season and every season is a beautiful place to start. So I just wanted to remind you of that today friend. I wanted to tell you how grateful I am for you, how grateful I am that you listen to these episodes, but most importantly, how grateful I am that you are learning, that you are trying, and you are really making a conscious effort to become a better version of you and heal so that you can help your kids more. This is what we all need to do. This is how we change the world my friend, and I am grateful that you're here with me doing it. And if I can ask for something that I would be so grateful for, my book is coming out in just a few weeks and I cannot wait to get it in your hands, and if you want to read it and support me in getting this amazing little thing out into the world, I would be forever grateful. So just go to... There's gonna be a link in the show notes, but you just go to my website, Mikkigardner.com/list, and you will get on the list so that you are in the know of all of the special things that are happening on launch day which is December 5th, and then all of December and probably some into January around it too. Listen, I am so grateful for you. I'm sending you so much love and many blessings this holiday season, and I am here for you and take really, really good care you friend. Oh, And one more thing, the legal stuff, this podcast is solely intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for any medical advice. Please consult your physician or a qualified medical professional for personalized medical advice. [music] Thanks for listening to Co-Parenting with Confidence. If you want more information or resources from this podcast, visit co-parentingwithconfidence.com. I'll see you next week. [music]